Joke: Husband and Wife Application

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby , Football, Sailing and Continuous TV.
Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the
system. I’ve tried running Nagging to fix these problems,but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate


Dear Desperate, First keep in
mind, Boyfriend is an
Entertainment Package, while
Husband is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: ‘http:
I Thought You Loved Me.html’
and try to download Tears.
Don’t forget to install the Guilt
update. If that application works
as designed, Husband should
then automatically run the
applications Jewellery and
Flowers, but remember –
overuse of the above application
can cause Husband to default to
Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or
Beer. Beer is a very bad
program that will download the
Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever
you do, DO NOT install Mother-
in- law (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually
seize control of all your system
resources). Also, do not attempt
to reinstall the Boyfriend
program. These are unsupported
applications and will crash
Husband. In summary, Husband is
a great system, but it does
have limited memory and cannot
learn new applications quickly. It
also tends to work better
running one task at a time. You
might consider buying additional
software to improve memory
and performance. We recommend
Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck, Tech Support


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